![]() When we repress our concerns, we might place them out of sight, but we also place them out of control. Once we acknowledge that something is on our mind, it is much easier to focus on the meeting. The check-in process opens up that space for understanding and fuller communication by allowing us to bring concerns into the group. It is only when we begin to listen without judgment that we open the door for a deeper understanding and dialogue. It is only when we speak from our hearts that we become fuller than the frozen models and presuppositions that others hold about us. The conversation becomes a hall of mirrors where everybody interacts with their own self-fulfilling expectations. If we don’t put a check on this bias, we will end up in a situation where each person talks and listens to his or her own projection of who the other person is. These expectations bias our listening, so we pay selective attention to what fits our ideas and ignore what doesn’t. It means asking ourselves questions such as, “What is going on with me that encourages me to pay attention to some things and disregard others?” “How is my attitude filtering out thoughts and feelings?” “How is the speaker expressing his or her truth?” “What does this truth reveal about his or her mental models?” “What does my reaction reveal about my mental models?” Benefits of the ProcessĪny time we go into a meeting, we approach it with expectations-about what the agenda is, who will say what, how the process will evolve, etc. Empathic listening is an integral part of the check-in process.Įmpathic listening implies adopting an open, non-judgmental stance toward the speaker and positioning ourselves in his/her situation. We are legitimately allowed into the meeting with our whole array of concerns and interests (see “The Check-in Process”). The check-in is an invitation to be fully present-not just present with the “official story,” but with whatever is on our minds. The purpose of this process is to bring concerns and issues into the open so there are no unspoken thoughts or distractions from the meeting. The only difference is that each person finishes by saying, “I’m out. The process is repeated until everyone has had a chance to speak. The speaker passes the talking object to the person on his or her left.When the speaker is done, he or she says, “I’m in.”.Someone may, however, choose to say something related to what has already been said, when it is their turn. While the speaker is holding the talking object, no one interrupts or responds to his or her statements.If the speaker does not want to speak, he or she can just say “I pass,” reserving the right to speak at the end of the circle or to not speak at all. The speaker takes some time to say whatever he or she wants, with no constraints.The speaker may hold a talking stick, a stone, or some other object that physically symbolizes the “right to speak.” Someone volunteers to start the process.You can play some music to create a common sound environment. Take two or three minutes to “center.” Sit comfortably, in silence, breathing deeply and letting your eyes soften (or close if you prefer) while you become aware of the thoughts in your mind. ![]() Agree on the time you’d like to devote to the activity. ![]() Sit in a circle so everyone can see each other’s face. ![]() Each person is asked to respond to the question, “What’s on your mind right now?” The check-in process is an invitation to share what is most present in participants’ minds. Although the mechanics are extremely simple and require little time, the check-in process can dramatically increase the effectiveness of any meeting. The checking process is a quality tool for good communication that can create such an environment. And by ignoring these undertones, we prevent ourselves from being fully present with each other.Īs managers spend more and more time in increasingly unproductive meetings, it is becoming critical that we create environments for more productive conversations. We might discuss the new advertising campaign, next month’s budget, or the status of a project, but no one knows what is really going on with the others in the room. In a normal meeting we hear none of this, yet such issues are often foremost in everyone’s minds. Bart just found out his wife is pregnant. Tony’s car was rear-ended on the way to the office. Your daughter was sick last night and you didn’t get much sleep.
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